‘My Grandmother’s House’ by Kamala Das- Meaning, Summary, and Analysis


About Kamala Das and the poem ‘ My Grandmother’s House’


Kamala Das was an Indian author and poet who wrote in English as well as Malayalam. She was from Kerala. Her poems are in the first person narrative and recite her own personal experiences in life, which made recognise her as a ‘ Confessional poet ’. She was one of the first Indian writers to overtly discuss the sexuality of women in her works, which was a rather bold representation of feminism.

‘ My Grandmother’s House ’ is one of the poems in her book of poetry, ‘ Summer in Calcutta ’, which was published in 1965. She wrote it while she had left her home and moved with her husband to a city after marriage. She turns homesick when there is no true love in their relationship, and remembers her late grandmother’s home in Malabar, where she had received love and security.

The poem ‘My Grandmother’s House’ by Kamala Das

There is a house now far away where once
I received love……. That woman died,
The house withdrew into silence, snakes moved
Among books, I was then too young
To read, and my blood turned cold like the moon
How often I think of going
There, to peer through blind eyes of windows or
Just listen to the frozen air,
Or in wild despair, pick an armful of
Darkness to bring it here to lie
Behind my bedroom door like a brooding
Dog…you cannot believe, darling,
Can you, that I lived in such a house and
Was proud, and loved…. I who have lost
My way and beg now at strangers’ doors to
Receive love, at least in small change?

Summary of the poem ‘ My Grandmother’s House’

Kamala Das describes her grandmother’s house as a faraway place where she had experienced true love but had turned silent and gloomy after the latter’s death.

This is in sharp contrast to the present, where there is no love. After her grandmother’s death, the books present in that house went into disuse and as a result, snakes began to live among them.

The speaker was a mere child during that phase, who could not even read those books. She was agonized after her grandmother’s death, and her blood turned as cold as the moon.

In the present, she longs to go back there, to look through the dust-covered windows, or just listen to the listless air. She is so desperate that she wishes to at least bring back an armful of darkness that contains memories of that house and keep it behind her bedroom door, like a brooding dog that would never leave her side.

Next, the poet addresses her husband. She says to him that he probably can never believe that she lived in such an amiable atmosphere, where she was proud and loved, which is in sharp contrast to the way he has made life for her.

The present circumstances are so adverse that, she has given up on morality and is having affairs with strangers, so that at least through that way, she can receive small amounts of emotional comfort.

Themes in the poem ‘ My Grandmother’s House’


The central theme of the poem

Importance of Love

The main theme of the poem ‘ My Grandmother’s House ’ is the importance of love and security in a woman’s life. The opening lines where once I received love directly hints that the speaker is longing for love.

I lived in such a house and Was proud, and loved implies that a woman feels worthy and proud only so long as she is loved by those who are with her, and true home is where people love and care for you.

Lack of love may distort a woman, as mentioned in the line beg now at strangers’ doors to Receive love, which implies that she has embraced infidelity for emotional satisfaction.

Other themes in the poem

Family attachment, modern relationships, and the death of loved ones are the themes of the poem ‘ My Grandmother’s House ’.

Family Attachment

‘ Attachment to hometown ’ is the first theme in the poem. The poet, though she has married and moved on in life, cannot forget the place where she grew up. It is her birthplace where she truly felt at home, and reminisces about it while she is suffering, as an act of solace.

‘ Attachment of children to their grandparents ’ is the next theme in the poem. When she is lonely, it is her grandmother that the speaker remembers, which implies that she was more attached to her than anyone else.

Modern Relationships

The next theme in the poem is ‘ The mechanical nature of modern-day relationships ’. The poet has no glimpse of true love in their marriage. The present generation has become so workaholic that, nobody has time for their family. This is the main reason for infidelity, as said in the line beg now at strangers’ doors to Receive love, which can ruin the relationship.

Death of the loved ones

‘ Death of loved ones ’ is another theme in the poem. The poet is agonized by her grandmother’s demise, and no longer feels secure in the house after the incident. The lines The house withdrew into silence, snakes moved Among books, my blood turned cold like the moon, blind eyes of windows, and frozen air corroborate this theme.

Line-by-line interpretation of the poem ‘My Grandmother’s House’

There is a house now far away where once
I received love……. That woman died,

The first line of the poem ‘ My Grandmother’s House’ directly takes up the subject of the house of the poet’s grandmother – There is a house. Now far away indicates that the house still exists, but is far away from the speaker as she has moved from there and is living elsewhere.

It continues on to the second line, where, where once I received love implies that, unlike the present, she had received love there. That woman refers to her grandmother, who had died long before she had moved out.

The house withdrew into silence, snakes moved
Among books, I was then too young
To read, and my blood turned cold like the moon

The house went into silence because it lost all its liveliness after the speaker’s grandmother, the very soul of that place died. As a result of disuse and neglect, snakes moved Among books, which is an expression of the toll that nature took on that place. The poet was too young to read those books at that time. Her blood turned cold like the moon because of the agony of her grandmother’s death.

How often I think of going
There, to peer through blind eyes of windows or
Just listen to the frozen air,

The poet longs to go back to her grandmother’s house. Often indicates that this is not the first time she is reminiscing about that place. There in the seventh line refers to her grandmother’s house.

The windows have blind eyes because they are covered with dust due to neglect, and hence nothing can be seen through them. But still, she wishes to peer through them, to at least get a glimpse of that home.

The air is frozen because the atmosphere within the house turned cold and listless when her grandmother died. But still, she wishes to listen to it, to relieve her loneliness and feel at home again.

Or in wild despair, pick an armful of
Darkness to bring it here to lie

In the ninth line, the poet expresses her desperation for love – in wild despair. She is so desperate, she wishes to bring back an armful of Darkness from her grandmother’s house, as it contains memories.

In that way, she could always have peace in the place which she loves. Darkness because that place, with its owner gone, is neglected and has nobody to light it up. Here refers to the present home of the poet.

Behind my bedroom door like a brooding
Dog…you cannot believe, darling,
Can you, that I lived in such a house and

The poet wishes to keep the armful of Darkness from her grandmother’s house behind her bedroom door. This way, it will be by her side every night and morning, forever giving her security and comfort. A ´brooding dog´ means the memories would be there constantly and won’t run away.

The poet finally addresses the main cause of her problem – her husband, in the twelfth line of the poem. Darling refers to her husband. Since there is no happiness in their marriage, she doubts if he can believe that she had once lived in such an amiable atmosphere.

Was proud, and loved…. I who have lost
My way and beg now at strangers’ doors to
Receive love, at least in small change?

In the fourteenth line of the poem, the sentence from the previous line continues wherein the poet asks her husband if he can believe that she too was once proud and loved. She was proud of living in that house because she was truly loved there.

Lost my way implies that in her desperation, she has distorted from the right path in life. She is forced to beg now at strangers’ doors to Receive love, which means that she is initiating extra-marital affairs with other people at their homes, to receive the love that her spouse has failed to give her. Though it is meager, she accepts it, as there is no other way to get love in the present circumstance.

Analysis of the poem ‘ My Grandmother’s House’.

‘ My Grandmother’s House’ is a poem that has a tone of loneliness, nostalgia, sadness, and desperation. It is written in free verse with no specific meter. It has 16 lines and no stanzas. It is written in the first person narrative, and the speaker of the poem is the poet herself i.e Kamala Das.

The poem has a dual timeline,  alternating between the past (the poet’s grandmother’s house) and the present ( her married life). There is a kind of familiarity in the way of saying that makes the reader feel like the poet is a close friend who is sharing her feelings with him/her in private.

There are very few sentences breaks between the lines. There is a continuous flow in the poem, like a casual conversation. In the first two lines, There to love is a single sentence. Then a new sentence begins with that and continues till the fifth line, ending with the moon. Next, the sixth, seventh, and eighth lines are a single sentence.

The ninth line begins with or and ends in the twelfth line with Dog. Two more sentences make the rest of the poem, both of which are questions she is asking her husband. Overall, the poem is a structure of six sentences.

The poem begins on a retrospective note. There is a house now far away immediately establishes that the subject ( house ) is something that has happened and finished in the distant past. Where Once I received love indirectly juxtaposes the past and the present, saying that the poet had received love once upon a time, but now everything is gone.

That woman implies that the poet does not wish to address the subject (woman) directly, because though she loves and reveres her, she is distant and intangible.

We can observe that it is not mentioned anywhere that the subjects are the poet’s grandmother and her house. It could be any house, any woman. But the title of the poem is ‘ My Grandmother’s House’, and hence we interpret that it is most probably her late grandmother’s place that the poet is talking about.

From the sixth line onward, the note of the poem changes from retrospection to introspection. ‘ My Grandmother’s House ’ is a confessional poem. The poet confesses that she often thinks of returning to her grandmother’s house, and uses the imagery of blind eyes of windows, frozen air, and darkness to establish the tone of the poem.

If someone chooses darkness for company, then it is ironic; because the darkness is generally associated with loneliness and fear. This is an expression of the desperate condition of the speaker.

Also, note that or is used between these expressions, which implies that the poet considers these acts as various options for solace in her loneliness. We learn from this that the poet admires her grandmother as a close friend.

In the twelfth line of the poem, there is again a change in the note of the poem – from introspection to conversational. The poet now addresses a second person, one whom she calls darling. It is not mentioned that this person is her husband, darling could be anyone, a close friend or relative.

But since she confesses in later lines that she has embraced extra-marital relationships, we interpret that she is married and anyone responsible for not giving her enough love could be her husband.

We can make two different interpretations out of this poem: the poet may be comparing her maiden life with her married life, or maybe comparing her husband’s love with her grandmother’s love, but since love is the main theme discussed here, the latter is more likely.

The poem ends by describing the current situation of the speaker, and the depths she has fallen into due to lack of love. The poet perhaps wants to make a point that women have their reasons for taking such decisions.

Poetic Devices

The literary devices used in the poem ‘ My Grandmother’s House ’ are ellipsis, enjambment, alliteration, personification, juxtaposition, simile, and metaphor.

Ellipsis :

1) There is a house now far away where once
I received love…….

2) Behind my bedroom door like a brooding
Dog…
3) Can you, that I lived in such a house and
Was proud, and loved…..

Here, the sentences are left incomplete, thereby revealing only a part of the narration. The rest is left for the reader to interpret.

Enjambment :

The lines in the poem are in fact continuous six sentences. They are :

1) There is a house now far away where once
I received love…….
2) That woman died,
The house withdrew into silence, snakes moved
Among books, I was then too young
To read, and my blood turned cold like the moon
3) How often I think of going
There, to peer through blind eyes of windows or
Just listen to the frozen air
4) Or in wild despair, pick an armful of
Darkness to bring it here to lie
Behind my bedroom door like a brooding
Dog…
5) you cannot believe, darling,
Can you, that I lived in such a house and
Was proud, and loved….
6) I who have lost
My way and beg now at strangers’ doors to
Receive love, at least in small change?

Alliteration :

Behind my bedroom door like a brooding – Here, the words behind, bedroom, and brooding all start with the same repeating consonant- B.

Personification :

1) The house withdrew into silence – The house is personified as a person who turns silent after a loved one dies .

2) blind eyes of windows – The windows are personified as a living creature which has eyes ; those are blind because dust has obscured them.

Juxtaposition :

The poem juxtaposes two situations to the reader to compare and contrast : the past, when the poet was loved in her grandmother’s house and was agonized by her death, and the present, where there is no love in her married life and she is having extra-marital affairs.

Simile :

1) my blood turned cold like the moon – When the poet’s grandmother died, she was so shocked, her blood became as cold as the atmosphere on the moon itself. Here blood is compared to moon.

2) Darkness to bring it here to lie
Behind my bedroom door like a brooding
Dog…

Here, the darkness containing memories of her late grandmother is compared to a brooding dog.


Metaphor :

1) armful of Darkness – The poet’s memories of her grandmother’s house is termed as darkness.


2) beg now at strangers’ doors to
Receive love, at least in small change?

Beg and change generally mean money. But here, it is a metaphor for love.